This is not a story for children, it was written by a teenage girl and is sutitable for teenagers.
To read part 1 click here
To read part 2 click here
– Hello Pepi, nice to see you again.
– Hello Sylvencia.
– Did you have chance to do your homework?
– Yes, and it was very hard.
– Was it? What did you find difficult about it?
– I was scared that my friends would write that I was ugly.
– I see. You had this thought… and how did they react to your request?
– They were a bit surprised but they said ok. They asked me what I needed it for.
– And what did you say?
– I told them that I needed it for my therapy.
– Oh, I see, you were not scared to tell the truth. Did they ask what therapy?
– Yes, and I said I shouldn’t tell before it finished.
– A diplomatic answer, laughed Sylvencia. In fact you can talk with your friends about the therapy, but I understand you don’t want and it is your choice. Am I right?
– Yes, exactly.
– Okay, let’s break the piggy bank then.
Peppi broke the piggy bank with shaking hooves. Sylvencia took one piece of paper and read it.
– “I like your eyes”. She looked at Pepi. Then continued.
– “You look normal. I don’t know what you mean”. She looked at Pepi again and told her to take the next scrap.
– “You are pretty”, read Pepi. Sylvencia smiled.
– Take another one, she said.
– “Cocky was dancing with you at your sister’s wedding, that was cool! I envied you, he is a cool guy” read Pepi. She blushed.
– Hmmm, interesting. What do you think about it? asked Sylvencia
– Let her take him!
– She thinks Cocky is handsome and he wanted to dance with you, not with any other pig. Doesn’t it mean anything?
– I was drunk and relaxed.
– Do you think that is why he chose you?
– He is a heartthrob and heartbreaker, nothing else.
– Ok, let’s carry on reading.
– “I like your long, slim legs” read Pepi. But they are thin!!! she shouted.
– For that person, they are slim. That is how they see you. Read the next scrap please.
– “You have got a fantastic nose”. No, it is too much! It is malicious! I know I have got an enormous nose! How could they write it! Pepi was red with anger.
– Did you ask only your friends for answers?
– Yes, I did.
– Do you think your friends are malicious?
– I don’t know, maybe yes. Or they are blind, said Pepi angrily.
– What do you mean by blind?
– They can’t see the truth.
– And what is true?
– That my nose is hideous!
– But what makes you think that?
– I just know it! grounded Pepi.
– Here is a list of cognitive distortions. Would you read it at home so that we could discuss it in our next meeting? Cognitive distortions are exaggerated or irrational ways of thinking. They cause problems, like yours or worse. You have just presented emotional reasoning. If you don’t like something you think it is ugly. But is it really? Did your friends say anything negative about your snout?
– No, they didn’t, said Pepi with a frown.
– Moving between extremes is called all or nothing: small – enormous, beautiful – hideous. Look at these photographs of different pigs. Can you put them in a line from the one with the tiniest nose to the one with the largest?
Pepi looked at Sylvencia a bit surprised by such a task but started sorting the photos. The pig with the biggest snout was disturbing. Her nose was much worse than Pepi’s own nose in her oppinion. And the one with the smallest snout looked really bad too. When she finished, Sylvencia asked the question that Pepi expected.
– Where would you put yourself in this scale?
– I would be the third from the right.
– Yes, I think so too. And what are your conclusions after this exercise?
– Uhmmm. The pig with the biggest nose must be very unhappy.
Sylvencia laughed and said: In fact she is a model.
– Is she? Impossible! shouted Pepy.
– You see. It was your another cognitive distortion. Do you want to try at home to find it in the list?
– Yes, I can do it.
– Ok. What would you like to remember from today, what is the most important for you?
– My snout is not the biggest one in the world, said Pepi slowly.
– And is it still hideous?
– I don’t know, she answered.
– How can you find out the answer?
– In that list?
– Yes, but you need some data. How about your second homework will be making a questionnaire?
– Again?
– Yes, but it won’t be hard. Your friends should have fun talking about it.
– What is it?
– Why don’t you ask your friends what they like in the other gender and we may discuss your finding in the next session? You can ask about the look but also the personality.
– Yes, that could be fun, said Pepi smiling to herself and imagining the big eyes of Cocky and the gentle smile of Flatty.
– So thank you for today and see you next week.
– Thank you Sylvencia.
This story was written togehter with my teenage student Natalia. Thank you very much Natalia!
The therapy was consulted with my friend Monika, who is a therapist. Thank you Monika!